


Don't Let Him Forget Me

by orphan_account



Series: Moments [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-19
Updated: 2012-06-19
Packaged: 2017-11-08 03:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/438522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs doesn't remember Tony after being blown up, Tony needs to talk to someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Him Forget Me

Tony let out a deep sigh, running a hand through his hair. "Hey," he started, "Look, I know, I know you're not used to me being here without Jet, but, I didn't know who else to talk to." He shoved his hands deep into his pockets, staring at the grass at his feet. "Jet was in an accident. He got caught in an explosion. He's only just woken up from a coma, oh, God, I thought he wasn't gonna make it. He nearly didn't make it," he continued shakily, swallowing the lump in his throat. "But now he's awake, and I should be happy, and I am, I guess. The thing is, he doesn't remember me." Tony's eyes stung with tears he wouldn't let fall. "He doesn't remember anything from the last fifteen years. He doesn't remember Ducky, or Jen, or Abby, or NCIS, or anything. He thinks he's back in Desert Storm. Which means, in his mind, he's just lost you two. It's all he can think about." Tony studied the two dark grey stones in front of him. Shannon and Kelly Gibbs.

"And I don't begrudge him that, because to him, you've just died, and he's still grieving. It's just, I think of him lying there, all burnt and broken, in that hospital bed, and all I want to do is lay down next to him, hold him close and kiss the pain away. But I can't, because he doesn't remember me. And because as far as he's concerned, he's never gone further than a few kisses and awkward gropes with a man, and that was in college. I can't go and see him, because I can't bear to see those beautiful blue eyes looking at me and not recognise me." He wiped at his eyes furiously, and took a steadying breath.

"And I'm scared. Shan, Kelly, I'm terrified that even when Jethro's healed, even if he starts to get his memories back, he still won't remember me. Remember us. What if- What if he never remembers? What if he remembers everything else, but not the fact that we've been together for three and a half years. What if I have to go back to work and see him, talk to him every day, and then go home at night to my old flat, alone. What if I can't touch him anymore, can't hold him at night, can't kiss him good morning? I don't think I could do that, Shannon. I can't live without him." He let out a choked laugh, sitting down on the grass cross-legged. "I know it sounds like something out of a cheesy romance movie, but I can't. If he doesn't remember me, and I have to keep working with him, I'll break. It'll be like Jet's died. No, it'll be worse than if he's died, because he'll still be there, walking around, being Gibbs. But he won't be my Gibbs. He'll be a different Gibbs, mocking me all the time."

Tony looked at the middle finger on his left hand where there was a single plain platinum band, nicked slightly from wear, and fiddled with it contemplatingly. "He gave me this, you know that. We told you. It was on our one year anniversary, we were in the middle of a stakeout in some remote forest in Virginia. McGee was there, and Kate. We said we were going for a look around, and he led me into a clearing, and he took my hand, and he held me. He told me that he knew two men couldn't marry, and even if they could he didn't want to go through another wedding, but that he wanted me to know he loved me, and he was serious about us, and he wanted to show his commitment. I told him I already knew, and I didn't need anything from him, but when I looked down at my hand, he'd already put the ring on me. I laughed, told him he was going soft in his old age, and he told me he wasn't old. Then he kissed me. He kissed me, and then Kate called, and we had to go. I haven't let the ring out of my sight since. If I can't wear it on my hand, it's on a chain around my neck. When we got back, I got Jet a ring, told him it wasn't fair if he had a claim on me but I couldn't have one on him. He said I was being stupid, but he wore it anyway." Tony shook his head rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"You two know all this, we told you. I'm rambling. I just can't help but think I should have done something, should be doing something now. Shannon, I promised you years ago that I'd never try and replace you, or compete against you. I haven't, and I won't. I also promised I'd make sure Jethro didn't spend all his time brooding on you. I can't stop him, now. He doesn't know who I am. I'm sorry." He kissed the tips of his fingers and pressed it to Shannon's name, then looked to Kelly's. "Kelly, honey, I promised you I'd look after your dad. Keep him safe, keep him loved. I don't know how to do that anymore. I'll keep loving him 'til I die, but if he doesn't remember me, he won't know that. As for keeping him safe, well, I've already failed at that. I'm sorry, Kelly." He kissed his fingertips again, this time pressing them to Kelly's name. "I don't know what to do, Shan. And I've got to lead the team, be strong for them. They're all hurting too, and they know I'm hurting, but they don't realise how much. Only Abby has even the slightest idea, and she's too upset to comfort me. It's why I came here. I know you can't do anything, but you can listen."

He sighed again, closing his eyes. All he could see was Gibbs laying there unconscious, burns up the side of his face. He looked so fragile, and he could tell that a lot of the people there were shocked to see something so human happen to him. Normal people got injured. Gibbs didn't get injured, because he was Gibbs. He always came out okay and ready to solve the case, no matter what. Tony was the one who always ended up in hospital, something Jethro frequently used to remind him of whenever he was about to do something stupid. The only time you could find Gibbs inside a hospital was if he was investigating a case, or he was visiting Tony after he'd gone and been the hero and gotten injured in the process. Tony opened his eyes again, and stood up, brushing off the seat of his pants. "Well, I'd better get going. Work to do. Shannon, Kelly, you know I'm not a religious man, but if you can hear me, wherever you are, please, don't let him forget me," he whispered, and with one last look towards the gravestones, he left.


End file.
